Professor recommends "Hot Tips for Cool Parents"

Internationally recognised in the field of early childhood development, Emeritus Professor Philip Gammage PhD D Phil FRSA (Nottingham University, UK) has this to say about my new book "Hot Tips for Cool Parents: the key to raising awesome kids":

"Parenting doesn't always come naturally and good sense about it needs to be accessible. This book is full of good sense and is easily assimilated, humorous, practical and low key in its approach. Moreover the facts and research behind it are rarely easily accessible, so we are doubly indebted to the author. Read it...it will save you much heart ache. Common sense of the best sort. Dip into it when you need it. It shapes ideas fairly and squarely."

I'm so honoured that Professor Gammage has not only taken the time to read my book, but also to provide such positive feedback. Having seen and learned about his often groundbreaking work, both here in Australia and internationally in the UK and Europe, I am even more delighted that he has given Hot Tips for Cool Parents the thumbs up! Thank you Professor Gammage.

Visit www.philipgammage.org to find out more about Prof Gammage

Careering Off - A Negative Jobseeker's Guide

I know this might sound a bit negative, but I reckon we could save a lot of time helping job seekers if, instead of asking them what they would ‘like’ to do, we just cut to the chase and asked them what they would ‘hate’ to do.

For example, I was recently helping a young friend put his Resume together. I started off asking him questions about what he really liked doing. This was met mostly with a lot of shrugging, blank staring and ‘I dunno’ ing. Clearly, I was getting nowhere, so I decided to change tactic.

“Okay” I said, “Tell me about the subjects you hated most at school, starting with the yuckiest.”

His face lit up and he rattled of a litany of despised tasks before eventually working his way back to the things he actually liked doing. Finally, with a bit more probing, we came up with a bunch of possible areas in which he might excel in the future.

What started as a plunge into the murky pool of negativity ended up on a very positive note! The Resume was a success and I’m happy to report the young man is now happily employed in an area that suits him.

This experience got me thinking about careers that wouldn’t work for me.

Some examples and the reasons I would be unsuitable for these roles are:

Brain Surgeon: No good with squishy things and useless with drills.

Mathematics Teacher: Number challenged. Likely to ask things like “What is the square root of 1356?” only to respond with an astonished “Really?” when correct answer is supplied by 5th Grader.

Airline Pilot: Dodgy sense of direction. Could be heard announcing: “Ladies and gentleman, I know we all thought we were heading to Hawaii, but I …um…kinda misread the coordinates and instead we will soon be landing in down-town Beirut. Look, I know it’s not quite the holiday you had planned, but there’s still a fair bit of sand about!”

Lead guitarist in a heavy metal band: Guitar ability limited to 6 chords, scared of tattoos and not sure if paracetamol counts as a recreational drug.

Bus or truck driver: Whole buildings, footpaths and pedestrians could go missing due to my inability to judge correct corner-turning allowance.

Football commentator: Might get distracted and say things like, “And the cute one with the nice thighs handballs to the Adonis with the pecs!” While I’m sure many girls would love it, the die-hard footy fans might lynch me.

Chef: Suffice to say, I’m sure there would be many people willing to testify that this is not, nor ever should be, the career for me.

These are just a few of the things I’d be really bad at and I now realise why we don’t normally start the resume writing process from the negative position. It’s so depressing!

I can just imagine our hapless jobseeker after undergoing this process:

Prospective employer: “And what skills would you bring to this role, Bill?”

Bill: “Dunno, but I can tell you what I’m really RUBBISH at, if that’s any help?”

A healthy attitude?

Remember youth? Remember when you could do all sorts of terrible things to your body – like staying up late, never eating vegetables, avoiding water like the plague, frying yourself to a crisp in the sun, eating fatty, salty foods, drinking too much alcohol or choofing through a whole packet of fags in one night? Remember when your body just repaired itself and moved on?

Well brace yourselves, fellow Baby Boomers for, as a ‘Tail Ender’ of your generation, I’m here to officially tell you “it’s all over”. But don’t fret. Its passing need not be lamented. In fact, this new phase of life offers opportunities not yet discovered or enjoyed by those of younger, healthier disposition.

Yes folks, I have now joined the ranks of those who think it’s not only acceptable but down-right socially valuable to have an illness or two to discuss with one’s friends. In fact, I’m beginning to wonder what on earth I ever talked about before I was introduced to gastroscopies, colonoscopies and any other human-orifice-oscopy you can name.

Ah, the suspense of a good heart-murmur story; the intrigue of a difficult-to-diagnose kidney malfunction; the exhilaration of a cunningly detected helicobacter virus and the heartwarming tale of successful toe-nail surgery.

Where once we discussed world affairs, the news of the day, our kids or the latest gossip around town, today my degenerating cohorts and I go straight for the ‘health update’, reliving every ache, pain or dysfunction that’s afflicted us over the past decade.

We compare and contrast; we embellish and amplify; we dissect and diagnose. In short, we have a great time ghoulishly reveling in the inevitable demise of the human organism; even if it happens to be our own organism that’s up for discussion. It’s the entertainment value that counts, after all!

Besides, they say “a problem shared is a problem halved”, although I have to admit it’s unlikely that (unless you are highly infectious at the time of discussion) even your bestest buddies are going to take on a half-share of your latest affliction; that might be stretching the friendship just a tad too far. I mean, sharing a joke, a cuppa and the general details of someone’s illness is one thing; putting your life at risk for the sake of an interesting relationship is quite another.

And so, like those who have gone before me — and behind whose backs I would snigger when they insisted on imparting every gruesome detail of their latest health woe — I too find myself subscribing to the philosophy that everybody else finds my medical emergencies as fascinating as I do. After all, I think to myself, why wouldn’t they? (I admit it’s a thought I haven’t necessarily fully explored, so it may well be flawed in some way…).

But despite my acceptance of health topics as the new dominant force in my conversational life, I do still have one bodily frontier I am not yet fully willing to discuss and that is the intricacies of someone else’s, shall we say, digestive processes (and the bi-products thereof, if you take my meaning). Yes, one day my friends and I may openly and unabashedly share every grisly aspect of our ablutions, but today is not that day and nor shall it be for a little while yet.

In the meantime, I am quite happy having a chat about any other anatomical process, surgical procedure or medication. Yours, mine or Mr Bloggs Down the Road’s. It’s only natural, this hankering to understand the physical nature of ….well …nature … and to attempt to stave off the affects of the ageing process. After all, who amongst us actually likes the idea of becoming decrepit …or worse?

And besides, with our minds starting to go as well, as we approach our twilight years, it’s probably not a bad idea to focus on something as close to home as our own bodies. God knows where our thoughts might end up if we start worrying too much about other stuff. We might forget to take our tablets … or go to the toilet!

Uh oh…..did I just say “toilet”?

Yikes, it’s started already!!

I better stop now before I say “poo!”

A Ghostly Tale

A friend was telling me how, at a wedding in New York, he got chatting with the young woman seated beside him. He asked her what she did for a living and she said she was a ‘ghost writer’.

Imagining all kinds of ghoulish protagonists and spooky storylines, my friend was intrigued.

“So does that mean you write books about the dead?” he asked innocently. But his new friend (whom he had secretly nick-named “Casper”) enlightened him that a ‘ghost writer’ doesn’t actually write about ghosts, but writes on behalf of someone else.

“Who do you write for then?” my friend asked. Casper shook her head and drew pincered fingers across her lips in a zipper gesture.

“Can’t tell you, I’m afraid,” she said. “Ghost writers often write for quite well known authors. Naturally the authors don’t want the public to know that they are not actually writing the books and their publishers don’t care who’s actually writing them, as long as they make their squillions.”

My friend was aghast, “You mean some of our big-name, world-reknowned authors may not even be writing their own books?”

Casper, however, was giving nothing away. She explained that she gets paid a lot of money to write …. and keep her mouth shut.

“But don’t you ever get the urge to blurt out that you actually wrote so-and-so’s latest best-seller?” my friend persisted. “Or the desire to write a book under your own name?”

“Not much point, really,” Casper replied. “My name means nothing to the reading public and I can’t exactly say “Ooh, but I wrote “Blah Blah” (fabulous best-seller) for “Blah Blah” (Big Name Author) can I? It would rather jeopardise my ghostly status … and my bank balance.”

My friend took her point but shook his head in bewilderment at why someone would be willing to ‘sell’ themselves in such a way.

This story made me wonder what it would be like if people in other industries decided to have ‘ghost workers’ to do the actual work, while they sat back and collected the money and kudos.

For instance, can you imagine the ‘ghost plumber’ sliding selflessly down the sewer to retrieve something nasty from the pipeworks then standing back, unperturbed, while the lady of the house lavishes cash, thanks and a slab of Carlton Cold on the ‘real plumber’ (who’s been watching from the safety of the back porch?) I don’t think so.

Or the ‘ghost-detective’ who risks losing life, limb (and occasionally the contents of his stomach) unearthing clues and dead bodies, only to pass all the information to the ‘real detective’ who gets all the credit … and the promotion? Doubtful.

But I guess, in reality, there are ‘ghost personnel’ in every organisation right across the world; people whose individual work is passed off as the intellect, the research, the expertise or the ‘brainchild’ of someone else. Funnily enough, it’s actually a win-win situation. After all, in the spirit of reciprocity, those whose ideas and projects are used, do get paid for their creativity and hard work. It’s how human organisations get things done.

So I guess those best-selling authors with ‘ghost writers’ tucked in their turrets are not so despicable after all. The reading public gets another guaranteed pot-boiler, the ‘ghost writer’ gets a tidy little sum and the author gets to sit on her sun-lounge collecting royalties (and she can blame someone else for any writing gaffes!)

Not that a ghost writer would necessarily be an easy scapegoat for blame, for surely she would just deny all knowledge of the matter (as per her contract) and get off Scot free, wouldn’t she?

And fair enough too. After all, there have to be some perks in being invisible!